Woke up this one Sunday morning and i’m feeling lost. I need extra motivation to go to Church and so i have one my usual self meetings to see what goes but i prepare anyway just in-case go wins and the worship session will bring me to the place where i feel like i am about to have a one-on-one with God and just have a moment together.
Soon i have boarded a Matatu wait for it to fill up and yes look around. I thought to myself; I see people, many people going different directions all having a mission of sorts but we’re probably in the same situation. Where one or both of our parents have departed. Some left their parents and know nothing of what they became or vice versa. But they continue to live on making sure they get their next provision or who knows? Find the reason for their existence.
At the same time i’m thinking, it’s truly difficult when your loved ones depart however it’s comforting to know that; they lived and will continue to do so. They gave and were full of love.
You see, one of the most comforting words I received during my mom’s funeral (SeungHwa) service was from a family friend whose mom had passed on a week before mine. She said…’ laying there is nothing. Just a vessel that hosted a beautiful soul. One that’s gone back to it’s maker. She’s not in there. She’s free from it all. But you loved and she loved you. You all had a special relationship’. There! I knew I could let go. An emptied vessel. The Soul is what Important. It’s the essence of who she is.
So on this day sitting in the matatu I realized, the tragedy isn’t in the emptied vessel ( loved ones leaving the physical world having lived to love and be loved fully and truly) but in empty vessels. That you could live with people but they are empty. There’s nothing in them yet they breathe. It’s all mechanical. In-Out. Sleep-Wake. Work-Pay. Make appearance-Smile. Then when all been said and done there’s nothing to show or feel for it.
Its just as interesting that a day after this reflections i went to the dentist. We are complete strangers to each other we had a very long chat that wound up to the above in parts.
When the curtains close will you be emptied left with nothing but Love or will you already have emptied yourself?
Will they that remain be broken and yet whole at the same time? Or will they breathe out and be relieved?
We are all but pots but of what use is a cracked or broken pot?
Nov 11th 2018.