What If

So, today a dear friend of mine shared with me a link about the brain being incurable, basically insatiable.  Reaching out for everything it fancies then eventually but very quickly wearing off that interest after that has been met. Then i recalled two weeks prior to this i had been requested to come in and give a program performance review for a certain company so i could share my views and recommendations on something dubbed ‘The Impact Model’ . 

A number of questions in and meeting done later formed the basis of our lunch discussion  at a table i shared with  two other staff members. Again that conversation  reminded me of my mom and  a dream of her setting me off to ask myself critical questions we often place an over inflated importance. Yes some are important to figure out like what is life and your purpose in it.

What do you live for? Is what you are reaching for ever some kind of destination of sorts that you either must get to or suddenly realize its actually in the place you left behind that left you found  much sense of purpose in life? Or you arrive and its suddenly not glamorous anymore?  We are ever seeking and reaching for something. Groping in some kind of darkness . If you find it or know what it is you are reaching for we call you smart , focused, goal oriented, determined, set for success. But who or what is success? Who sets the standard?

Meeting objective completed , we are now sitting outside around some of the gazebos and having lunch. Getting to know each other more, complete with warm conversations most of which were spill overs from the earlier meeting. The usual conversation starter ‘What did you study ?’ gets us talking long and deep. We found out most of us at the table were either  doing something  completely away from what we studied or practiced whatever it was briefly only to move to something we feel more comfortable in and keep wondering at the amounts of monies or even academic loans spent taking those courses.

One shared she’d return to school only for the company. She did manage to develop beautiful , meaningful relationships that beat the academic papers she had earned hands down. Only one among us was working in their field of study and happy with it. This conversation quickly span into how our guardians push us to study for obvious good reasons. ‘Get an education….’  (complete statement in whoever’s voice that is).

Suddenly i asked, but what is Education?  First time, the answer was a repeat and echo of what we’ve been told it is and why just in different phrases. Then i  found myself asking again ‘but what is Education’. This time there was an addition of of ‘You know you get your certificate, diploma, degree etc sets you in the path for ‘Success’. Okay! Going out thrice,  What is Education? At which point it occurred that its the same question going thrice. In the second response one shared a beautiful quote by someone they couldn’t recall but it went something like  this…the problem with education today is it that it doesn’t teach us to unlearn the things we learnt so as to re-lean and learn new things.’ I promise you when she said it it was much shorter and sweeter than this but you get it 🙂

So when i asked the same question for the third time, we started turning heads. What do you mean what is Education? Education is not an academic destination or some kind of trophy to be acquired and shelved unfortunately.  It is everyday life. Each day you learn something knew and you don’t necessarily get that in class. We are ever busy seeking ‘education’   then immediately stop after ‘getting it’ come to the world and are quickly frustrated that what we ‘got’ isn’t working as expected. We soon go back maybe get more perhaps this time you will be better placed for success. A promo maybe? Who said 4-8 exam questions or whatever  number that’s standard for your school system  probably set from between 25-35% of the entire syllabus you learnt where you only remembered 50% of makes you a fool and set up for permanent failure deciding which doors you can cross and which you cannot? What if of the remaining untested you knew 70% and out of which becomes the most useful application in your life when used well? Who then determines what is your success point?

Fast forward you get assigned to courses by systems that don’t understand your true interest, passion, gifting and personality. Soon you join the ‘job market’ in spaces you’d rather not be then fall into predictable routines where you equally do not care about the people you serve or building relationships that will count at the end of life. Why? Because in you is an ever raging battle, a longing , a search for purpose, destination just something. Before long we’ve got depressed people, look around at your friends and people they know seeming to be ‘making it’. Double depression sets, stress, disease, mental issues, terrible relationships and God forbid suicide knocks. You don’t get help, you are done.

Again, what is  success, education, life and whatever else you are asking? Who determines the point of fulfillment? Society? You? Your Divine? What will mater at the end of the day? Remember the moment the mind sees something it fancies it will set itself in motion to acquire it insofar as you do not show it impossibilities. What if you arrive and its not as nice anymore? What becomes your Hallelujah – Amen in the now moment? Learn to find contentment in the simple things life brings now. Build meaningful relationships , find you and be. Know its also just fine not to know or have a direction just now but if you enjoy now then perhaps a direction for tomorrow will be found.

At the end of your physical life my Mommy told me,  ‘most of the things we tend to chase after will make no sense they become useless to you immediately you go. No one here asks you what did you study? Not your degree nothing. Nor will it give you any satisfaction except that you lived fully, truly, faithfully, built good relationships, loved and gave. Importantly, daily do something to build and edify your faith. It’s the ultimate thing we all do these things for after which you get your freedom.’ So she said in the dream i mentioned early on in this post.  Its upon waking up that her message really sank in. In hand i had her phone and  a piece of cloth she wore. It was completely useless to her now. I had to ask myself just why? Why do we acquire so much one thing after another. The phone, a gadget for communication now she doesn’t need it plus it will never give any of us comfort as much as the love we have shared for each other. Agreeing with all she said to me i set out to re-figure things and finding small things to be grateful for even amid tears when they do chose to present them-self.

Daily, i hang on those lessons we learnt from her largely  from observation and story telling. One day we would be sharing and talking as usual she will suddenly find something that gives her peace. She would start with, ‘children are a wonderful  you give us a reason to live another day. I honestly would have been gone long ago without you guys‘. Another day after long sharing she will say ‘anyway spouses are a blessings. We love, fight , grow , love, repeat but i cannot imagine life without. True and genuine friends and people to nature as you go are life’. Soon she brings it full circle taking it all including God without whom non comes to being.

Thinking about it, what are you constantly chasing? Might it already be within you? Like i have said before, sometimes we take journeys outside to try find us. How about a journey inside to actually find us. You set the standard. But if you don’t find joy in small victories and struggles now how will you enjoy tomorrow? Okay! Maybe what you are chasing is out there. When you get it, will that bring or add to your satisfaction? Help illuminate more into what you already have?

What will be be your Hallelujah-Amen-In-The-Now Moment?

 

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